Thursday

Their Stories

This is a compilation of mothers' stories, submitted by them throughout the blogs.

Applaud them for their courage; weep with them in their sorrow; pray for them for their strength. But that won't be enough. Can someone please help them?


(emphasis and links mine, possible minor edits for clarity)


I am writing this entry so as to let everyone know what is going on. 2 yrs ago, from Feb 7th 2009, my lil girl's dad and my ex husband went to court without my knowing and told a lot of lies, which the judge took hearsay as truth. I had the judge put under investigation which he was found guilty, of what exactly I don’t know, they wouldn’t tell me. But I did get him disqualified from my case.

When I got a new judge he only over turned the custody of my oldest because it wasn’t an ongoing case like with my youngest daughter. My lil girl's dad had been trying to get custody since 2004 and the first judge refused to even give him joint. So, he abided his time until a new judge was put on the bench. So anyways, I went in front of this new judge that was given to me and he placed my oldest daughter into state custody until an investigation could be done.

Of course the first case worker on the case just happened to be friends with my ex husband, so for 3 months I had to fight the D.C.S/dept. of children services. They never would do an actual investigation, but the DCS worker ended up getting fired and 24hrs after she was fired I got my oldest back. Of course it was 3 months later and $3000 dollars shorter, and of course because I could no longer afford to keep paying my attorney he refused to go after my youngest lil girl, and I've not had the money to get another attorney and no one in the court system will listen to me with out one.

My lil girl's dad is addicted to prescription drugs he has had 2 brothers to die from accidental over doses, one in 2003 and one in 2007. When we was together as a couple he would beat the crap out of me over my prescription headache meds I got 90 pills a month and he would have them all taken in less than a week. I've reported him to cps/child protective services but they refuse to do anything. I've tried getting the cops to go check on my lil girl but her dad's niece is a dispatcher there so they wont do anything.

All I want is my lil girl back, where I know she is safe. It's bad enough that I can't see her or talk to her but I've been told that her dad has told her I’m dead. But all I want is for my lil girl to know I’m alive and to know I love her and that I’m trying to get her back. THIS IS MY STORY FOR THOSE THAT WANTS TO KNOW THANKS

Comment by Linda Hall — March 8, 2009 @ 11:50 pm

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I have had an enduring battle for rights to my kids for two years now. My story is too long to tell on here but I am so thankful to know I am not alone and that I too have been a victim to the courts.

I was married for 7 years and stayed home with my children each and everyday. My ex husband was very controlling and abused my children behind my back. I have three children with him. After the third child I found out that my oldest son had been really abused by my ex-husband and I took him to a psychologist. I decided to leave my husband and move away to Washington where my parents lived. My ex’s family lived in the area too.

When I filed the divorce papers he tried to tell the courts that I stole them from him and that he never moved to Washington. The courts denied my rights to proceed due to us not living in Washington state long enough (6) months. He then threatened to get me for kidnapping the children in Nebraska State so I went back to Nebraska to seek legal advice. At this point I spent $2000.00 on attorney fees. The advice I was given was to wait till I was a legal resident of Washington so I did that.

During that waiting period my ex husband began to harass me calling me all the time, emailing me, knowing what buttons to push and some how I believed him because that’s what an abuser dose. I became overwhelmed and started having postpartum when my son was 9 months of age. I didn’t think at the time a mother could have that but I know now that I did. All The emotional hurt and pain that I tucked away inside of me began to come out. I with drawled myself from everyone and became very depressed to the point that I felt like running away from everything. Like I had a melt down. SO I went on a plane and visited a friend of mine just to get away for two weeks.

My ex husband found out and took my kids from my mom and went to the court house and filed a willfull abandonment against me and got a restringing order too. I wasn’t able to see or talk to them. That just made me more depressed and I got myself into trouble with another man same type of characteristics, but this man was into drugs. I never did them with him but a coped pulled us over and the drugs where in the car so we both got arrested for it. SO I ended up getting stuck on that so called vacation for six months. I feared to take the plea because I didn’t want to loose my children or have that on my record. I was a good mother who had been with the wrong type of men I never did drugs nor ever had a speeding ticket or any criminal back ground. Finally I took the plea because it was taking way too long to go to trial and I needed to get back to Washington to finalize my divorce.

When I went to court the judge ordered me no rights to my kids till I had a third party that my ex could agree on. He would not agree on anyone. The judge ordered me to go through drug assessments to see if I really was a druggy and so I did the assessment came back with no concerns of drugs just that I have been abused by men. The judge wanted a statement from my doctors stating that I didn’t have postpartum and so I got that. Than he allowed me visitations.

My ex-husband tried to make my life a living hell. He assaulted me and than told the police that I was just trying to say anything to get my kids back. He would send me emails saying I wish you would just get out of our lives and leave us a lone. He would fight with my family and lie to my kids about me telling them I didn’t want them anymore. The list goes on and on. I felt like every time he would do something wrong towards me or my children that I wasn’t being herd by the law. He got away with everything. Just because he had money and I didn’t.

In the spring 0f 08 my ex called me and told me he met a girl online and was moving to Boston with the kids. He would not tell me when. I told my attorney at the time but we couldn’t do anything until he gave us a statement. I began to ask the daycare where my children went to school for free yes I say for free because they knew my ex very well and how he treated my children. I asked them for written statements so that he would not be allowed to move away with them. They helped me I am so thankful for their willingness. They even came to court and testified, but the judge would not hear them. These people had been in my kids life for two years everyday of the week most of the day and all the judge could say is well if you thought he was unfit why didn’t u make a cps report.

My ex had hired a guy that was used in the courts many times to see if the relocation would be the best for the children. He spent 1500.00 the guy interviewed the future wife, my ex and my children on two separate occasions. Not once did he see me with my children, not once did he interview me. He told the judge it would make things more complicated but really he meant well had I paid him the same amount that he would have interviewed me.

In the end the judge told me because I never got a psychological evaluation from a psychologist that he would allow the move and that I still had every other weekend visitations but could not have them for the summers till I go it. My attorney never told me that a counselor one wasn’t good enough till the day before the hearing.

I feel like my own attorney didn’t even represent me and I had spent 6 grand by now. I have no income but tanf and that wasn't a lot.

My kids moved away two weeks later. It was heart breaking for them and me. I told them that I will keep trying to fight for them and that someday we will be together again. I tried many times to find them he never gave the courts a legit address or a phone number. I felt hopeless because all the effort I put in to having some relationship with my children was once again taken from me. That one moment of weakness I had out weight a man with a history of abusing my children. I felt the court made me look like a horrible mother and didn’t even try to understand me because I didn’t have money nor did I know the justice system. I thought that if I did what they asked that they would see that I was fit.

7 months went by and out of the blue my ex emails me after many attempts from my part to get a phone number and address. He tells me if I want to talk to my children I need to buy a cell phone and mail it yet dosen’t give me a address. He also tells me if I wanted my kids in the summer I need to pay a reasonable amount of child support, but then states the court wont go for me having my kids for the summer because my youngest son dosen’t know me anymore.

A month later he gives me a phone number to call the kids so I called them and his wife was very nice allowing me to talk with them. I was happy to hear their voices. I bought a webcam to see them, but my ex began to control me through that not allowing the children to talk to me without him listening to the phone calls and sitting right in the middle of the webcam so I dont really get to have privacy with my kids.

Comment by Christeen — March 5, 2009 @ 6:04 pm

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After my divorce in 2003, I was the residential parent of my 2 children. The following years I had to endure continuous verbal abuse and harassment from their dad through phone conversations and email. One of those emails I received from him stated that he wants to take the kids from me so they can start forgetting about me and move on with their life. I decided to obtain my bachelors to better the life of our little family and as a way to get away from that constant abuse. I finished my degree with a 4.0 in June of 07. A job offer followed, which required us to move from OH to WA. After consulting my attorney, he said to go ahead, as the court would not object to this move considering the evidence we had against my ex husband. Come to find out the court decided that “they will have to look into the best interest of the children”. Over a year later, the decision is that even though they agree that I am the better fit parent the children are staying with their dad (who is manipulating my children by calling me names and making up lies) because I moved too far away.

So much for a free country! Oh yes, and my attorney said that if I would decide to move back to OH the court would give me the kids back without any questions.

I believe the real reason of why my children are not allowed to be with the parent that has raised them since they were born is either the judge believes in the dad’s right or a steady income as long as they stay in their jurisdiction…or both…definitely not the best interest of the children.

Comment by KBell — February 13, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

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It has been 16 yrs and pending - Sadly my “wasband” and “abuser” is actually one of the founders of the Father Manefesto 66 - The abuse of my children through the CA court system was worse than the physical/emotional violence HE did- They allowed a violent man use the system that I could not challenge due to financial limitations and other challenges that were a domino effect from his initial abuse. He has had custody of our daughter even though there were restraining orders having her name against him, civil judgments against him….He was able to pay for 730 evals that were so bias as he was arrested during the process for DV in front of a police dept onto my children and I…Whereas the police were our own witnesses it was never noted in the 730….That HE PAID FOR.

There are volumes of court files remain…All the while for safety my other children whom were not biologically related to our abuser had to flee the state for our lives…All the while he has our daughter whom I haven’t seen for (5) years even though I have a CA PO BOX , CA cell phone and email that she can access whereas I have attempted to remain in contact in ever way possible. There is an active court order whereas he is to take her to an attorneys office for private phone calls one hour a week whereas we can speak with one another- Out of 52 weeks we had only (4) calls as he would call and cancel the moment of the call using transportation challenges (the office was a mile away from his residence) to conflict of school activities such as school photos taking place at 4:30 p.m. (did I mention she is in public school and school photos are taken during the day)

There is far more challenges of his continued abuse by using the legal forum, personal forum for PAS of our daughter….Sadly, there isn’t enough space or time to share the history that has consumed our family…In addition we are very much a “cookie cutter” example of what plagues our society by giving the abuser vindication to his continued abusive behavior….Our daughter (children) are the ones who “lose” over all…Will there ever be a “win-win” for the children who endure such life challenges….When will there ever be a justice system that really places the children FIRST…I didn’t give birth to give her up ….I love & miss her each and every moment of each and every day….Is she safe???!!!!! Does she know how much I do love her????

Comment by Suzi C. — December 9, 2008 @ 6:12 pm

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Finally the truth. In all of the internet searching I’ve ever done I’ve never come across one mother’s rights site. I have been in the battle of my life for the last 7 years. It is rife with fraud and corruption but I cannot afford to fight back. This has taken place in Snohomish County. The court case is 96-5-00120-1 State of Washington in the parentage of Zachary Williams vs William Berke and Tamara Williams. If anyone is interested in reading 15 volumes of court documentation please join in. It is the sickest case of injustice you may have ever seen. It is not over by far.

Comment by Tami Williams — October 21, 2008 @ 5:34 am

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0 advocates for peace: